killing spree..

my nose is seriously blocked, and i have a game tomorrow.. shit..

went out with asyraf today.. my friends since nursery.. many, many memories, remembered and revisited.. we can talk about everything under the sun, even at night.. haha.. i'm lame.. anyways, i remembered this conversation we had in primary 1..

asyraf: fan, i think until i die, i'd be friends with you...
irfan: i don't want to die with you..

i think what shaz said, and has been saying is right.. i may be a little too pragmatic after all.. maybe too pragmatic for my own good.. i can't halp it.. i think alot.. especially about stuff like, making sure i don't say the wrong words just so that i don't have to "take my words back", not making myself "lose face" if i said i would do something but end up procrastinating and not doing it.. shit like that.. but that's the way i was raised.. thought to, be careful, always have your guard up, its a dog-eat-dog world, your experiences and achievements speak for themself, plan properly.. no one can change me but myself.. maybe i should loosed up a little..

and we watched FLYBOYS today.. nice show.. had one of my favourite actors, James Franco.. oh, and his love interest is beautiful.. heh.. dont't know the acteress' name.. the scenes where the old WWI fighter planes battling each other in mid-air was simply fabulous!! amazing.. but somehow, i thought, it was rather fake.. CGI these days, anything can be fantastic..

lepak-ed at some cafe, near my old place.. somehow the topic changed to favourite movies.. somehow, Edward Norton came up, American History X, Fight Club, in that order.. and it made me want to put up the rules of Fight Club, one of my favourite movies..

The Rules of Fight Club
1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.

somehow, Jarhead came up, Jake Gyllenhal, Heath Ledger, then Brokeback Mountain, in that order.. then i read this question somewhere.. "What do you think of gay marriages?"

my answer:
i don't know what to think anymore.. if you posed me this question a year or half a year ago, i would say that i detest even the idea of gay couples.. according to the traditional and orthodox view, this is simply against nature, against the whole notion of Adam and Eve, against the fact that there is a law of nature, even in animals where mating is necessary to procreate.. gay marriages is a mockery of all things natural and from the orthodox standpoint, they are definitely against it.. but am i?? i still don't know.. if the question was, "do you have a problem watching a man and another man make out?", that i would answer yes.. phew.. that was easier.. but gay liberation groups have argued that the main religions have prohibited gay lust expressively, but not gay love.. you can't deny that.. ok, fan, cut all the bullcrap and get to your standpoint.. taking a religious view, i do not condone gay marriages.. i'm a firm believer of when there's love, there comes lust.. so, since gay lust is a no-no, so is gay love.. taking my own couldn't care less view.. so long as you don't disturb me, i don't care.. haha.

12 days

min has screamed at me all the way for urbana-chamPAGNE to update, and i will not let her screams go to waste..

i went thru OBS at ubin for twelve days, so i went "missing" from the mainland. the most important thing i learnt from OBS; the limits of the human body are actually, but contradictarily(tell me if there's such a word), limitless.. i'll explain.. we ran 2.4km every morning at 5.55am, on almost all the mornings of the course. more or less, 6 out of the 12 days.. we had an kayaking expedition within the OBS course, kayaking to Pulau Hantu and back to Ubin.. for the sake of the people who don't know, P.Hantu is just beyond Sentosa, beyond Sister's Island, and contrary to its name, P.Hantu is less haunted then Sister's Island.. haha.. all in all, here's the distance we clocked:
- 24.4km running in 6 days, including a 10km on the last day..(ok, i know some people running marathons would say its nothing, but serious, it WAS tiring)
- 120km, on kayak in the Singapore seas, including with and against the tides
- endless kilometres hiking on foot
- 200% heart

Limitless. All i can say. Truly, the impossible is nothing.. no, actually, the impossible, is only what you call it.

So, after OBS, back to studies.. my CriminalInvestigations test is on monday, and i know shit, or no shit.. watever.. haha..i guess i'll study tomorrow..

I can't wait!!! POP-ing from Home Team Academy on 11th January. getting my inspector rank, or otherwise called by me, bling bling.. haha. and i really hope, life would be better after that.. going home everyday.. the travelling might kill me, but i'm already dead from being a trainee for 1 BLOODY YEAR..

Oh God, i'm almost completing my first year of NS.. i feel ORD-ing before your 20th b'day is really, really cool..

i guess i'm the only one with a free mind..

didn't want people to hear aussie talk whilst reading, so i linked the video..

amazing how people can seem so happy, but in reality, be so sad at the same time.. wasn't that long ago i last saw you smile.. 5 or 6 months may seem long, but it felt like yesterday.. maybe cause you're memorable.. i'm sighing now..

also amazing is how moods can swing so damned fast.. we're behind you zul, but we don't know what to do.. okay, not don't know, but we don't know if you want us to do what we feel like doing.. sighing again..

i have no problems.. but somehow, i tend to think of, and can't help but getting involved in, the problems of others.. trying not to get involved in yours.. i'd play pretend.. i don't know.. hope i don't turn into another scowfield..

and i don't wanna expect too.. i hate expecting.. if replies are nothing but one-liners, so be it.. a few words are better than nothing at all..

sometimes, i feel bad being happy and un-stressed, when people are having problems.. when i care, and want to help, i don't know how.. perhaps that's my problem.. i don't know..

right now, i don't know why, but i feel like i'm under a shade of melancholy.. its not effecting me directly, but its just rubbing off.. maybe its the pay-delay.. haha.. that was a smal kick.. heh..

honestly, i prefer being angry than feeling melancholy.. anger gives you a drive, a need to prove wrong, a want to do something..sadness just tires you to sleep.. or doing stupid stuff.. whatever.. i'll pretend..

i love anger.. i hate pain.. but i love inflicting it..

grouper..

i found this site called grouper.com.. they have a cool main page where you choose your vids like at a buffet.. Youtube bombards you with videos, but grouper is more category-specific.. Its like you click a category and the most frequent appears at a very user-friendly glance..(not saying that Youtube doesn't have this feature..)

so there i went, checking the site out.. i can so imagine myself, if you can call the internet an actual place, window shopping at this free shop called Grouper, looking around for videos, when suddenly this shelf(which is a sub-category in actual website terms), at the shop, called Aussie slang, caught my eye.. i wouldn't give two hoots bout Aussie slang to be honest, but something really caught my eye.. Why don't you guys check it out for yourselves, ya?? Here's the video..

Aussie Slang Girl

i was like whoa!! and i thought jessica alba was hot.. haha.. well, that was your intro to grouper.. i somehow always think about perpectives, how there are two sides to the coin.. okay, mayb that not your intro, cause you'd probably already knew of the existence of the website, and you don't need this dumbass here to "intro" you to any shit, cause you're probably more "web-savvy"then i am... I'm getting pissed for no reason.. spot-on shaz.. haha.. i get it.. haha..

well, today's the last day as a free man before i return to ns camplife.. then its just two more months to P.O.P.! yeah, can't wait for more free time and a more meaningful, but tiring existence.. so enjoy grouper.com and enjoy life.. peace out!!

You-tube, Me-tube.

dudes and dudettes, letme introduce you to this insane and awesome drummer..
The Faceless, drummer, Nick Pierce-



Well, my attachment is over and I'm watching soccer and You-tube.. Don't shut it down!!